What's It All About? (Don't tell him, Pike....)

TV, my lifelong companion. From Camberwick Green to Blue Peter, The Fast Show to The One Show, Doctor Who to Doctor Foster, Minder to Spender, there have been so many highlights, so much to remember and so much to forget.

My earliest monochrome memories are associated with the family’s old 405-lines TV set, located in the corner of the living room, just along from the fireplace and adjacent to the settee. I’m told I watched the very first Play School, at eleven o’clock one April morning in 1964 on the fledgling BBC2 channel. After dinner (it was never ‘lunch’) I would literally Watch With Mother, the legendary strand which featured the likes of Trumpton, Pogles Wood and Andy Pandy. Songs and characters from these shows feel as fresh in my mind now as they did as a child.

I was introduced quite early on to programmes such as Doctor Who and Top of the Pops, which of course went on to run for decades. I vividly remember William Hartnell ‘regenerating’ into Patrick Troughton in 1966, so it must have left my five year-old self awestruck at the special effects. TOTP in the Sixties also created many of my most enduring musical memories dating back to the same year although I must have been allowed to stay up late, well after my normal bedtime to watch at 7.30 on a Thursday night.

My TV diet would have been more varied than that, but I can pinpoint mental fragments of, say, Wimbledon, the Olympics and FA Cup Finals only to 1967-68. I would probably have watched The Monkees from around the same period and been exposed to a few BBC comedies like Dad’s Army and family-friendly Saturday night stalwarts like Dick Emery or Rolf Harris.

Many of the small-screen personalities have left an indelible mark on my heart and possibly very soul over the near-six decades of viewing. Some have grown up like me, still popping up now and again on nostalgia shows or in a hospital bed on Casualty, prompting me to open my eyes wide and exclaim something like “Isn’t that – er- whatshisname?. Used to be on – thingy. You know, yonks ago!” Occasionally I’d settle for the security of the closing credits but often my mind will be so obsessed with recalling the name I’ll completely lose the thread of the programme. Ah but it would be worth it to have recognised, say, an octogenarian Roy Hudd or a ginger-wigged Ruth Madoc. Every British actor still alive seems to have been in Game of Thrones but I haven’t seen them thanks to an ongoing antipathy to fantasy nonsense. Sorry.

So who have been the faces and voices who have played the most important roles in my TV life? They could be actors whose appearances have spanned decades or have starred in specific landmark dramas or sitcoms. They could include presenters whose faces and voices have contributed to my education or entertainment. There are also the less famous names, the ephemeral supporting cast members who nonetheless live on despite their names always appearing way down the list of credits in Radio Times yet who raised a knowing smile whenever they showed up on the screen. Their internet entries may be short, or even non-existent, but they will always be stars in my book.

This is my tribute to people who, via the evolving technology of television, have in some way touched my life more than the thousands of others. As ever, the hardest element is deciding who to leave out. Some undoubted ‘national treasures’ have been excluded. It’s not that I dislike or disrespect people of the stature of David Attenborough or Julie Walters; just that they haven’t quite gained entry to my small but perfectly formed personal box of treasures.

Other individuals haven’t been selected because they contributed to a programme which was greater than the sum of its parts. How can I single out one member of an ensemble cast such as The Goodies or Dad’s Army?. How could I pick John Noakes and not Val Singleton, Peppa and not Daddy Pig? The same goes for double-acts. It’s impossible to split up, for instance, Laurel and Hardy, Eric and Ernie. Yes, I know that in each case I could include both partners but that would be too greedy and unfair on the massed ranks of additional near-misses like John Thaw, Patrick Troughton, Sarah Parish or Phil Cool. 

There have been actors who have made a big impression on me, only to take the lucrative route to the movies or other LA studios and overshadow what I loved about their TV personas with subsequent movie roles. I’m talking about you, Helen Mirren, Judi Dench, Brenda Blethyn and Bob Hoskins! To those others who may have returned to tread the boards or specialise in radio work I salute you, but this has a TV theme, so nerrr.

It was a sign of the times that my childhood coincided with a dearth of big-name UK female and/or or minority ethnic media personalities. Fortunately the situation has changed considerably. In particular there is an entire genre of brilliant actresses who are hitting their small-screen stride. In ten years’ time, maybe Sarah Lancashire, Siobhan Finneran, Jessica Raine, Jenna Coleman and Anna Friel could be on my list….  but that’s for a different memoir. It would also be so wrong to include contemporary ‘crushes’ like Lesley-Anne Down, Louise Lombard or Gillian Kearney!

Over the years I have been fortunate to catch absorbing documentary series hosted by nigh-on perfect presenters. As specialists in their respective fields, bolstered by the essential ingredients of a captivating voice and a twinkle in the eye, who could not be won over by the likes of David Bellamy, Sister Wendy, Chris Packham, Bettany Hughes, Brian Cox or that aristocratic son of Venice, Francesco da Mosto? However, their specialisms can render their appeal too narrow or of a certain time to reach my top tier. I have little time for actors as factual presenters. I just can’t take Ross Kemp or his polar opposite, Joanna Lumley seriously as they pop up amidst Russian drug gangs or the gorgeous Himalayan foothills. Maybe if they swapped places? Ah, there’s a thought!

News and current affairs broadcasters are another difficult breed to consider. Almost by default they are shorn of individual personalities. Quirks and humour which would earn plaudits in the world of entertainment must be subservient to a talent for political neutrality and a gift for reporting the truth. Only when they appear on Have I Got News For You? or Strictly Come Dancing can they ever so slightly let their hair down. Richard Baker, Sue Lawley, Moira Stuart, Jeremy Paxman, Rageh Omaar and John Humphrys all hammered on my door but none quite made the cut.

Entertainers and pretenders to the ‘Mr (or Mrs) Saturday Night’ throne rarely appeal to me. As a child, I could never either wholly engage with the Seventies/Eighties kings and queens of variety such as Cliff, Cilla, Des O’Connor or The Two Ronnies. Bruce Forsyth, Michael Barrymore and Bob Monkhouse often seemed to think themselves funnier than they were, while most of the current crop of comedians seem to try too hard, unable to display the attributes which make them so brilliant at stand-up. Dermot O’Leary, Philip Schofield, Ant and Dec are genuinely funny but I can’t stand any of the programmes they present. Speaking of whom, like Remainer Tory MPs or Olympic drug cheats, anybody so desperate enough to plunge into I’m a Celebrity’s jungle is automatically excluded from consideration. No exceptions.

Overseas celebs are conspicuous by their limited presence, too. I was brought up on Seventies American cop shows like A Man Called Ironside, Kojak, Starsky and Hutch and The Rockford Files, but the current craze for big acclaimed dramas on Channel 4 or Netflix has largely passed me by. I’ve never watched binge-viewing classics like The Wire, Breaking Bad, Lost, West Wing or The Sopranos and have dipped only a few frostbitten toes into international thrillers like Fortitude or Scandi-noir like Wallander or The Killing. I’ve seen the redoubtable Elisabeth Moss in a few series, notably The Handmaid’s Tale, but not yet enough to reach iconic status.

But that’s enough of those who have not been picked. This will be a nostalgic roll-call of those who consistently hit the mark; whose names alone are a virtual guarantee of quality, however small the contribution. Sometimes their X factor is indefinable; like music, it’s a matter of personal taste. It’s not a trawl through the broadcasting history books, of those whose lives are recalled through their obituaries. It’s true that many are no longer with us, and others by dint of their age are no longer on our screens. However, my selection includes a number who remain in their prime, who have plenty more years to consolidate their position in my hall of TV fame.

Like many exercises in nostalgia, this is less a review of performers and their performances than a re-discovery of my younger self. The most telling facet is revisiting programmes through the eyes and ears of me as, say, a nine, nineteen or twenty-nine year-old. In some cases they may only hinge on scraps of memory, a fragmentary image of a scene, a song or a sketch representing a skewed angle of someone’s entire career. It’s not Wikipedia – although the website can help fill the gaps – nor any other impartial appraisal but it’s a personal perspective. These are my TV treasures but I hope some, if only for different reasons, may be yours, too.